Discussion Board
Parents Who Chose Intact
Danielle N.
"When I was pregnant, I knew nothing about circumcision. My research consisted of a youtube video and the opinions of family members that consisted of "have you ever SEEN an intact penis!?" and "Don't you want him to look like his father?!" I decided I would leave it up to my husband. I mean, he's the one with the penis right? It should be his decision. Well thank God when I asked him, he said absolutely not. I was relieved. The video on youtube was unsettling, to say the least. But, should we be leaving this decision up to our husbands just because they have a penis? After doing over 12 months of research I can tell you, No. We shouldn't. When my son was forcibly retracted at UC Davis Medical Center, I was on a mission to find as much information as I could on the topic so that I could best protect my son. I let him down by not being his advocate that day, and I will never forgive myself. I don't want misinformation and misconceptions perpetrated by medical professionals to hurt you too. The first thing I did was order a circumcision information packet from peaceful parenting at drmomma.org and an "intact don't retract" information packet from wholenetwork.org designed for medical professionals. The more I read, the more I was against it. In my opinion, it's one of the biggest medical frauds in the history of mankind. "
June P.
"From the age of 8 hearing the story of Abraham and Isaac I called BS and said I wouldn't do that to any kid of mine. During my first pregnancy my husband fought hard to have a circumcision but I refused and made him watch a video. He couldnt stomach the video and agreed with me. The first baby ended up being an intact girl and so did the second. Our third baby is a perfect intact little boy because I stood my ground and educated my hubby. It takes a real man to keep his son whole when the dad was violated in such a horrible way. I also have to mention that hubby has recurrent prostate infections because he has no foreskin to protect the opening to his urethra from harmful bacteria. He also has pain and numbness due to keratinization fo his glans due to his circumcision. The urologist says this is why circumcision is a bad thing."
KT
"June, 1980. My husband and I are expecting our first child in mid-August. Married just over a year, I am 32, he is 26. We are planning a home birth but acknowledge there may be factors beyond our control so I am also seeing a Kaiser doctor. Our birthing education classes are not Lamaze but the lesser-known Bradley method, also called Husband-Coached Childbirth. We have been meeting for several weeks and on this evening we have joined with other Bradley groups for an evening of films about, among other things, the Two Cs: caesarean sections and circumcision.
I have already made up my mind to say no to both. My husband agrees. Our baby will be born in our sunny flat with no medical intervention necessary, before or after.
This baby I'm carrying is an easy one: pushing and poking, of course, but polite and gentle. Until, until -- the circumcision film begins. He erupts like a terrified animal, lunging, banging, kicking and hitting. The room suddenly becomes hot and swirls around me.
I whisper to my husband, "I have to leave or I'll faint." I get up and walk as fast as I can to the blessedly cool corridor. The film narration can no longer be heard. The baby subsides. I lean against a wall, take a drink of water, then hear a click and see my husband walking toward me. "What happened" he asks.
"I know you won't believe this," I say, "but the baby was frightened by the film." And I explain.
"I had to leave," he said. "I couldn't watch."
We have no anger toward my husband's parents for circumcising him any more than we resent either set of parents for bottle-feeding us and smoking. It was the era. We are sad, and grateful society is becoming more enlightened.
Our oldest son is born in mid-August, in a hospital. He weighs 9 1/2 pounds, has wispy brown hair and blueberry eyes, ten fingers (long, like his dad's), ten toes and a sweet smile. He has entered the world not through the birth canal, but via a C-section. Sometimes, as we had known, there are factors beyond our control. We are sorry, but grateful this option was available.
Four years later, his twin brothers are also born via C-section. This has been a difficult pregnancy and one twin is breech. These babies are equally perfect -- and huge -- weighing eight pounds each. They also are breastfed, cloth-diapered and intact.
Circumcision is not something my boys and I have ever discussed -- they would find it too squirmy, I'm certain. Heck, they have problems knowing they were breastfed. But I am so proud we did what was right. We were part of a new wave of parents."
I have already made up my mind to say no to both. My husband agrees. Our baby will be born in our sunny flat with no medical intervention necessary, before or after.
This baby I'm carrying is an easy one: pushing and poking, of course, but polite and gentle. Until, until -- the circumcision film begins. He erupts like a terrified animal, lunging, banging, kicking and hitting. The room suddenly becomes hot and swirls around me.
I whisper to my husband, "I have to leave or I'll faint." I get up and walk as fast as I can to the blessedly cool corridor. The film narration can no longer be heard. The baby subsides. I lean against a wall, take a drink of water, then hear a click and see my husband walking toward me. "What happened" he asks.
"I know you won't believe this," I say, "but the baby was frightened by the film." And I explain.
"I had to leave," he said. "I couldn't watch."
We have no anger toward my husband's parents for circumcising him any more than we resent either set of parents for bottle-feeding us and smoking. It was the era. We are sad, and grateful society is becoming more enlightened.
Our oldest son is born in mid-August, in a hospital. He weighs 9 1/2 pounds, has wispy brown hair and blueberry eyes, ten fingers (long, like his dad's), ten toes and a sweet smile. He has entered the world not through the birth canal, but via a C-section. Sometimes, as we had known, there are factors beyond our control. We are sorry, but grateful this option was available.
Four years later, his twin brothers are also born via C-section. This has been a difficult pregnancy and one twin is breech. These babies are equally perfect -- and huge -- weighing eight pounds each. They also are breastfed, cloth-diapered and intact.
Circumcision is not something my boys and I have ever discussed -- they would find it too squirmy, I'm certain. Heck, they have problems knowing they were breastfed. But I am so proud we did what was right. We were part of a new wave of parents."
